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Koldborn: First enslavement
09/12/02 || Lord K Philipson
Not only did very nice fucker Jacob Bredahl of Hatesphere send me this album, among others, he also engineered and mixed it so now I know whose balls to use a hammer on for the poor production. Hold your dead horses, I´m just kidding, there´s nothing wrong with the production. I think.
This is the second full-length by Koldborn, I haven’t heard shit from these piss-ants before this, so I didn´t know what to expect. After a quick look at their website and being welcomed by the sentence “Groove´n´grinding no-shit death metal!!”, I thought I would enjoy this. Anyone claiming to have groove must be good.
I thought.
I know my shit grooves and I have the albums to prove it. Koldborn doesn´t groove. They play death metal. Let me make that “death metal that doesn´t exactly groove for fuck”. It´s basic death muzak and it´s not particulary excellent. In one ear, out the other. Vocalist Martin reminds me of Jan-Chris of Gorefest and when I think about it, which I do now, some of the material also shows some Gorefest-ish bullshit. I was always a fan (actually, I was not, but I like alot of the stuff they did) of Gorefest and those guys atleast knew how to groove at times. What Koldborn does though is non-memorable songs, non-memorable riffing and non-memorable drumming. The songs are there, they should be as it´s a cd I´m listening to, it´s just not very impressive. It all ranges from mid-paced sludge death metal to some semi-fast mumbo-jumbo to some grinding extravaganza and whatnot with some really terrible whore doing some really terrible vocals here and there.
Shoot the bitch.
As mentioned, Jacob of Hatesphere sent me quite a few albums… Most of them quite bad, Koldborn is in the middle there somewhere, no matter how many times they pull of some Pestilence-influences within the songs. I could write this kind of death metal in a second, but I´d make it groove. And that´s always the keyword, music has to fucken groove people! Guitarist Henrik seems to know where his frets are located at at times and some of the solos are decent, but a few good solos doesn´t make a good album. Ask Marty Friedman.
I could go on an on about this and find new ways of bashing a band, but what it all comes down to is that I need more to my death music than the ordinary blasts. I need the goddamn riffs!!! The memorable riffs. The shit that makes me wanna stand up, throw the horns and scream “Hail Satan!!” until I puke. There´s too many standard death metal bands out there, one worse than the other.
There´s basically nothing wrong at all with Koldborn, they do their shit well, but I need more to it to be impressed. For example, when I´m done with this review, I´ll put on the “Saltrubbed Eyes” album by Seance, stand up, throw the horns, scream “Hail Satan!” and puke. That´s how death metal is supposed to make you feel. And that album is from fucken 1993.
5,5/10
- Information
- Released: 2002
- Label: DieHard
- Website: www.koldborn.dk
- Band
- Henrik: guitars
- Rasmus: drums
- Martin: vocals
- Kim: bass
- Tracklist
- 01. Of Sins Sublime
- 02. Wicked Arise Divine
- 03. Blessed by Beyond
- 04. In Breathless Sighs
- 05. All Bowing Heads Roll
- 06. Vague Cries (Of Unborn Lives)
- 07. Demonride
- 08. Sunbroken
- 09. Altar of Your Fate
- 10. The Embrace of Thanatos
